As I headed into the house I turned round to see that the turntable had thrown the Hudson off, sending it crashing into the side of the garage

It’s fair to say I spend as much if not more time in my Big Dog Garage as in my house. One reason has been because, until now, getting most of my cars home has been almost impossible.

My house is down a long curving driveway and the garage is right up against the hill, so there’s not much turnaround. So when you drive cars like a Duesenberg or an 8 Litre Bentley, besides just the physical exercise of trying to turn a 6000lb non-power-steering car there’s always the fear of ripping out the steering box or injuring the car in some way. Those cars are very difficult to turn if the car is not moving at the same time.

When I was a kid I thought one of the greatest extravagances you could have was a turntable in your garage. The Stanley brothers – of Stanley Steamer fame – had one in their house in Newton, Massachusetts. It’s still there, you can go and see it. And I understand that Edsel Ford also had one in one of his homes in Detroit. So finally I decided to get one.

It’s fantastic. The first day I put it in, I drove my Gullwing onto it, watched it turn and thought, this is great. You drive your car in the garage and onto the turntable, you press the button, it turns the car round, and you drive out again. It’s a wonderful thing.

Later I parked my Harley next to the turntable. The next time I went out I got in the car and I pressed the button and turned the car around. But as I was pulling out I saw the Harley coming up behind me! The kickstand had got caught in the base of the turntable and the turntable brought the Harley around. It got to the point where it high-sided and turned upside down.

A lot of the old American cars that have automatic transmission don’t have parking select. You just put it in neutral and you put on the handbrake. With one of my Hudsons I pulled in, put it in neutral and I got out. And I pressed the button. As I headed into the house I turned round to see that the turntable had thrown the Hudson off, sending it crashing into the side of the garage.

So if you’re going to get a turntable, be very careful how to use it. I’ve had mine now about two months and I’m learning.

Some garage gadgets seem a complete waste to me. Someone once said to me, ‘What kind of sound system do you have in your garage?’ These cars are the sound system! When I’m working 
I don’t want anything to distract me from that. I often go to garages and there’s a bar, liquor, and I think, ‘Well, there’s three things that go well together. Motorcycles, cars and alcohol.’

I never understand paying more for an accessory than for a car. For example, I’ve seen those couches made out of ’57 Chevy rear ends – and they cost more than a ’57 Chevy. Why would I do that?
Many car owners commission paintings of their cars. I remember this rather well-known artist came to my garage and said, ‘I love your Morgan three-wheeler and I want to paint it.’ So he came and it took him three days – watercolours and everything.

I said, ‘How much is the painting?’ And he said, ‘,000’. I said, ‘You know, I only paid ,500 for the car. So I’d have to sell the car and come up with another, what, 75 hundred dollars to get a painting of it. That doesn’t make any sense to me.’

I put up supersized posters in my garage because they give the non-car people something to look at while you’re talking cars, in the same way a lot of shoe stores employ women with huge breasts and low-cut blouses to keep the men interested while the women are shopping for shoes.

We have fantastic scenery painters on my show. So when there’s a band on, they’ll paint a fitting backdrop – maybe an album cover for U2. And they do it in a day. I’m constantly searching for old motor books and catalogues and I just hand them over and they copy them perfectly. I had a Vincent HRD motorcycle ad out of an English magazine and I said, ‘Can you make me an 11ft-high poster of this Vincent ad?’ And they copied it perfectly.  

Lastly, when I have dinner I don’t like the peas and carrots to touch the potatoes or the steak. I like them all separately. Likewise, I don’t like going to guys’ garages when they have pictures of naked women all over the garage or to have a woman with big breasts in the way when I am looking at a car. This is confusing to me. I don’t like to mix up my cars and my pornography. Let’s keep them totally separate.